How many people have you slept with? No, really, how many? 10? 15? 30? 100? I’ve slept with 16 people.
In all honesty? I have no idea how many people I’ve slept with. Not because it’s hundreds and hundreds and my brain can’t store all the data, but because I just don’t care. I kept a list until my late teens, and then threw it away. Because what is the point? I’ve done the ‘Walk of Shame’ more times than I’ve walked to school, but to me there’s nothing shameful about it. What is there to be ashamed of about embracing your single status, letting your hair down and meeting a man who makes your fanny flutter? Women everywhere are doing the mattress mambo, loving it, and returning home in the morning like it ain’t no thing. Because, really, it ain’t.
Am I unclean and impure for sleeping with ‘a lot’ of people? ‘Slut’ is a made up word. It’s an unfortunate, yet unequivocal truth: When it comes to the number of people we’ve slept with- the higher the number, the higher the judgment. Why is it that we, mostly women, feel as if we have to conform to the absurd standard society has set for us to avoid the risk of other people looking down their noses? Since when did somebody else’s opinion matter that much?
If you are comfortable within yourself and with your sexuality, and enjoy gland-to-gland combat- providing you are causing no harm to yourself or anyone else- who really cares? As a singleton, surely it’s your right to go out, have as many cocktails as happy hour can get you, and shack up with a handsome stranger. No one is getting hurt by this harmless process yet, somehow, people are shaming it every day. The Walk of SHAME.
No one should be defined by the amount of sex they do or don’t have. There is a huge double standard surrounding this- the age old tale of a man being pat on the back for his high number of conquests, whilst women with the same number are scorned. This begs the question- if men are allowed to sleep with more people than women, then who the hell are they sleeping with? Though this is undeniably unfair, slut-shaming is a real thing that unfortunately happens all too often. Just remember: your body, your choices. Save yourself the effort of having to justify them.
The sexual landscape of our world has been steadily changing for quite some time now and at this point, sex and dating are mutually ambiguous terms. People are having more sex on the first date, sex before they even start dating, and casual partners and hook-ups can be found in just about any licensed bar in the country. I’m not arguing that people should be going out and boning every other person they meet but if that happens to tickle your fancy, then you should be free to make that decision without the pressure of being judged by society. If two consensual adults decide to have sex, it’s important to notice that there are in fact two people involved, and if one of them is immediately going to shame the other afterward, then that person has a clear misunderstanding of intercourse in the 21st century. With today’s contraceptives and general knowledge of human anatomy, there is absolutely no reason why women should be seen any differently when it comes to being sexually active.
Society puts so much pressure on sex as both the be-all and the end-all, and this pressure is increased exponentially for women. We must be virgins but still sexy, the girl next door but the femme fatale, ‘a lady in the street but a freak in the bed’. There is so much pressure to put out and have sex and also not to have it, that it’s no wonder that women grow up disenchanted and confused about their sexuality. There is no such thing as an experienced virgin, and yet that is what we, as women, are expected to be. Sexual stereotypes do not exist. They were fabricated to sustain and perpetuate a little power structure called patriarchy - and it’s no secret that this ‘structure’, leaves no room for diverse realities. Living in today’s opinionated society, people will always disagree with whatever you are doing - even if that is volunteering for world peace.
Walk that street like it’s a runway because today, like any other day, you are a single, confident, sassy woman who will not be shamed by anyone.